People,

So last night I was tossing and turning, dripping with sweat and faced with a serious contradiction. You see, every time I would fall asleep I would inevitably go into the same dream. In this dream I was Dee Snider and was up on stage in front of thousands of people with Twisted Sister. Only it wasn't nearly as wonderful and comfortable as you would imagine Dee Snider playing with Twisted Sister would be.

For one thing, I looked like me, not Dee Snider. For another, I was wearing no makeup or the crazy shoulder-pads-and-codpiece TS outfit, but everyone else in the band was. And finally, the worst part, I was trying to sing "Cum On Feel The Noize" over the chords of "We're Not Gonna Take It." And that, people, is a mistake.

Needless to say, Jay Jay French was pissed and he let me have it. "You asshole!" he screamed. "That's a f#$king Quiet Riot song! Sing it right!" At this point I freaked out and just start screaming gibberish into the microphone, at which point the thousands of attendees started booing me.

I had this dream like five times. Life is, of course, terrible.