People,

Last night I was at a trivia night in a local pub. Forget that we kicked everyone's ass, forget that we knew the five coutries in the UN that have one syllable names, forget all that stuff. The thing I couldn't get over was a question about the Dred Scott and his lawsuit arguing for his freedom. I'm no historian and I certainly didn't know too much about this topic, but I couldn't believe that Dred Scott, a slave, sued his master for his right to be free and lost. But he didn't just lose in Podunk Alabama's Bait Shack and Courtroom - he lost in the Supreme Court of the United States of America on the basis that African Americans could never be citizens of the US and thus the Federal Government had no say in the slavery issue. Uh...what?

I mean, I always assumed that to slavemasters slavery was like Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I mean, I feel like they all knew deep down that it was bad for them and fattening for their souls, but it made life easier and everyone else was doing it so they prolly just got a big spoonful of New York Super Fudge Chunk, gained thirty pounds of moral turpitude and called it a day.

But this case brought the issue front and center on a national stage that was impossible to ignore. What a chance for America to show it's forward thinking ways and to set an example for the world, right?

Dred Scott: I, a human being, think it isn't right for another human being to OWN me and force me to do work with no benefit to myself
Supreme Court: Hmmmmmmmm
Dred Scott: I mean, I'm not really asking for much here, just the right to live on my own and not be....um...OWNED.
Supreme Court: Hmmmmmm
Dred Scott: I'm not a criminal, I work hard and I just want the chance to be able to succedd like anyone else in this country
Supreme Court: Hmmmm
Dred Scott: Um...fellas?
Supreme Court: Yeah, not so much.
Dred Scott: What?
Supreme Court: Yeah, we're not convinvced. We're the official moral conscience of this country and we demand you be owned. Pass the Phish Phood.

Dag.