People,

So yesterday, after a weekend chock full of rock (more about that later) Ladyfriend Sarah and I loaded up the rock bike (more about that later) and headed for the burbs to attend the birthday party of our five year old homeslice Emma.

Highlights:

- There was a very impressive candy spread at this shindig, and I fully elbowed many a five year old out of the way to get my fill of Skittles. However, I put too many in my mouth at once and I'm pretty sure one shot down into my lung leaving me coughing for hours.

- I ran half of the face painting table and drew a red and blue butterfly, some rainbows and some animal faces. Look out Keith Richards!

- At the arts and crafts table I struck up a conversation with Reid. He had a piece of paper and had written "Re" on it. He said "That's part of my name". I said "Cool, why don't you write the rest of it?" He said "I don't know what the other letters look like". Fair enough.

- Also at the arts and crafts table I had a chat with Cooper. "You stink at making stuff" he pointed out. "Oh yeah, go make me a barrel!" I countered. He didn't get it.

- When playing Simon Says with small children, avoid using terms like "left" and "right". It will only end in tears.

- We played Playstation 2 karaoke and I lost handily to LS. She sang "Don't Know Why" and got a perfect score. So then, a roomful of children (and adults) baited me by saying I couldn't tie her. And you know what? I couldn't. I was less than pleased.

- I was scolded at the dinner table by saying that I like to eat asparagus because it makes my pee smell terrible. This scolding was done by five year olds. So I guess it's official, I am less mature than kindegarteners.

- My pee smelled HORRIBLE. I was happy.