People,

I love sleeping. I mean, I think by this age everyone does. Paula Poundstone used to do a stand up bit about how you knew you were an adult "When you can't remember a time when you didn't want to go to bed."

Anywho, I love my sleep, especially because I've always had very vivid dreams. Usually my dreams are great and involve me solving mysteries or fighting in wars or starring in Halo 2 (ok, those are just my recent dreams). Regardless, they're usually really fun.

But sometimes you get a real sucky dream. It might be scary or disturbing or "I'm having sex with the elderly woman next door" unpleasant. Or it might be, in my opinion, the worst of the bad dreams - the "I have no control over my situation at all" bad dream.

Last night was one of those. I dreamed that Ladybetrothed and I were walking down a cement path behind an apartment building that my friend David used to live in in Niskiyuna, NY. Don't ask me why, but that's where we were. Walking down the path towards us was a woman and her pet LION. Sarah acted like this was no big deal, pet the lion and continued walking. I was scared to pet the lion and let's just say that the lion didn't take this well. So then the lion starts walking towards me and baring his teeth. Damn.

I walk backwards and smile. The lady says "Don't smile, you 'll make him angry." I stop smiling and look at the lion. the lady says "Don't look at him directly. He hates that." So then I start murmuring things like "good cat." The lady says "Don't speak."

At this point I find myself walking backwards, looking at the sky, unable to speak and just waiting to be mauled by a lion. This, my friends, is a bad dream.

Finally the lion did pounce and took a big chunk of my left knee with him. Of course, everybody blamed me for provoking him. Then I woke up.

Fucking lions.